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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:
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Tourist Experiences City By Buying Used CDs

CHARLESTON, SC—Tourist Alex Pratt decided to "get the feel" of the historic South Carolina port city of Charleston by making the rounds of its local used-CD stores Tuesday. "I found a Marshall Crenshaw CD I didn't have, and really lucked out on The Feelies' The Good Earth—I haven't seen that in years," said Pratt, who has also shopped for music in Boston, San Francisco, Gettysburg, PA, and Kansas City. "I like this place. It's a lot like my regular used-CD shop back in Chicago." Foregoing a ferry-ride to nearby Fort Sumter, Pratt said he intended to spend the remainder of the afternoon peeling the protective plastic off the CD cases and enjoying a sandwich from a local Subway restaurant.

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