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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Town Proud Of Water Tower

RICE, MN—Local residents reported Monday that the 157-foot-tall water tower in the center of town was the finest water storage structure in the region. "She's a real beaut," said native Rodney Anderson, adding that the gorgeous shade of robin's egg blue has never had a "lick of that graffiti on it." "Much better than the water tower in Holdingford. Heck, you can even see it from Holdingford." Multiple town sources also noted that the tower has a ladder that "goes all the way to the top."

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