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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Town Still Can't Think Of Name For Largest, Most Used Street

EDGAR, NE—Residents of the small town of Edgar have yet to come up with a fitting name for the tiny village's most highly trafficked street, a two-lane, tree-lined roadway running through the main downtown area.

"At first we wanted to call it Preeminent Avenue or Primary Lane, or maybe even Boulevard Prime," said local businessman Peter Gallows, who added that the street is the one he mainly uses when driving through town. "It's really important that we name this soon, being that it's the main street around and all."

Edgar mayor Tom Kaisel said he hopes to resolve the problem before mid-October, when the town holds its as-yet-unnamed annual German-themed festival, informally known as "Oktobeparty."

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