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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Tractor-Pull Fans Begin To Question Whether This Is What Life Is Really About

CLAPP, TN—After attending their fourth such event in as many weeks, several rural Tennesseeans have begun to openly question whether tractor pulls and monster-truck rallies are what life is really all about. "It just seems like life could offer more," said Arlo Taylor, the group's leader. "Books, theater, even simply appreciating the trees and flowers." Said fellow tractor-pull fan Wilbur Spann: "I understand the high-school theater company is performing Steven Sondheim's Into The Woods on Friday. Perhaps that would be a refreshing and enriching change of pace from our frequent pilgrimages to see Robosaurus."

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