adBlockCheck

Business

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
End Of Section
  • More News

Transgender Community Caught Slightly Off Guard By Baskin-Robbins’ Enthusiastic Support

CANTON, MA—Saying they were appreciative of the effort but at no point did they ever see something like this coming, members of the transgender community admitted to reporters Monday they were caught slightly off guard by ice cream chain Baskin-Robbins’ enthusiastic support for them and their cause. “We’re definitely pleased with Baskin-Robbins’ new trans-friendly initiative—it’s just, you know, where did this come from?” said Trans Advocacy Network spokesperson Samantha Jessup, who, along with thousands of other transgender individuals across the country, was reportedly blindsided by the vocal endorsement of trans rights on the frozen treat purveyor’s website and in a lengthy Facebook post. “Don’t get me wrong, we’re thrilled when anyone takes a stand on the issue of mainstream transgender acceptance. But, boy, this one’s kind of a head-scratcher. I mean, Baskin-Robbins? Really? Huh.” At press time, transgender advocates were reportedly taken aback as every one of the company’s promotional tweets for its June flavor of the month included the hashtag #standwithtrans.


More from this section

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close