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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.

Fisher-Price Releases New In Utero Fetal Activity Gym

EAST AURORA, NY—Touting it as the perfect tool for entertaining and stimulating the fetus during gestation, Fisher-Price announced the release Wednesday of a new in utero activity gym. “Whether they’re batting at the friendly toucans in order to harden their cartilage into bone or tapping the multicolored light-up palm tree to test out their sense of vision once their eyes open at 28 weeks, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Friends Prenatal Activity Gym is guaranteed to give your fetus a head start and keep it happy and occupied,” said director of marketing Kevin Goldbaum.

It Kind Of Sweet CEO Thinks He Doing Good Job

SEATTLE—Admitting that the sight of him laying out his vision for the company was pretty endearing, employees at Rainier Solutions reported Monday that it was kind of sweet that CEO Greg Warner thinks he is doing a good job.
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Transgender Community Caught Slightly Off Guard By Baskin-Robbins’ Enthusiastic Support

CANTON, MA—Saying they were appreciative of the effort but at no point did they ever see something like this coming, members of the transgender community admitted to reporters Monday they were caught slightly off guard by ice cream chain Baskin-Robbins’ enthusiastic support for them and their cause. “We’re definitely pleased with Baskin-Robbins’ new trans-friendly initiative—it’s just, you know, where did this come from?” said Trans Advocacy Network spokesperson Samantha Jessup, who, along with thousands of other transgender individuals across the country, was reportedly blindsided by the vocal endorsement of trans rights on the frozen treat purveyor’s website and in a lengthy Facebook post. “Don’t get me wrong, we’re thrilled when anyone takes a stand on the issue of mainstream transgender acceptance. But, boy, this one’s kind of a head-scratcher. I mean, Baskin-Robbins? Really? Huh.” At press time, transgender advocates were reportedly taken aback as every one of the company’s promotional tweets for its June flavor of the month included the hashtag #standwithtrans.


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