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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Trio Of Cutups Attempts To Hide Horse From Landlord

LOS ANGELES—Confusion, embarrassment, and severe cranial trauma were the order of the day Tuesday, when local numbskulls Louis Feinberg, Moses Horwitz, and Jerome Horwitz constructed a horse stall in their bathroom and attempted to hide it from landlord Theodore Healy. "Apparently, the plan was to run a cargo-hauling business from their apartment," Healy said. "But in the end, as is the case with everything these three nutballs do, their crazy scheme went awry." According to Healy, the trio attempted to mask whinnying noises coming from their bathroom by coughing, and explained the large bales of straw in their closet by saying that they were "homesick for Nebraska."

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