adBlockCheck

Sports

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.
End Of Section
  • More News

Troy Aikman Promises Fair, Unbiased Commentary On Cowboys' Run To Super Bowl Championship

DALLAS—Fox color commentator and former Dallas Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman assured viewers Sunday that during playoff telecasts he would impartially document the return of America's team to their rightful place as NFL champions. "In order to maintain my journalistic integrity, I must be free from bias when I present both sides of the Cowboys' play, remaining impartial as they dominate on both offense and defense," Aikman said, interrupting his heartfelt account of being drafted number one by the team. "Even though Dallas' opponent will not be worthy to share the same field with them, I will not show favoritism towards America's Team, my beloved 'Boys." Aikman added that he would not let his warm feelings for Cowboys owner Jerry Jones skew how he described the man's many wonderful qualities.

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close