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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Troy Aikman Promises Fair, Unbiased Commentary On Cowboys' Run To Super Bowl Championship

DALLAS—Fox color commentator and former Dallas Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman assured viewers Sunday that during playoff telecasts he would impartially document the return of America's team to their rightful place as NFL champions. "In order to maintain my journalistic integrity, I must be free from bias when I present both sides of the Cowboys' play, remaining impartial as they dominate on both offense and defense," Aikman said, interrupting his heartfelt account of being drafted number one by the team. "Even though Dallas' opponent will not be worthy to share the same field with them, I will not show favoritism towards America's Team, my beloved 'Boys." Aikman added that he would not let his warm feelings for Cowboys owner Jerry Jones skew how he described the man's many wonderful qualities.

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