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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Troy Polamalu All Over Orthopedic Clinic

PITTSBURGH—Steelers safety Troy Polamalu reportedly wreaked havoc on the Tri-State Orthopedics Clinic Monday, flailing around wildly on his crutches and violently knocking over unsuspecting physical therapy patients while rehabilitating the sprained medial collateral ligament in his left knee. "The guy is nuts," physical therapist Josh Buckner said. "Troy goes at top speed on those crutches at all times and just throws his entire body into people. I've never seen someone try to recover from an injury with such reckless abandon." Although several staff members attempted to recommend resting, icing, and elevating the knee, Polamalu reportedly hopped away on one foot so he could disrupt a group of elderly patients working on flexibility exercises.

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