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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Movies Receive Their Ratings

Many Americans use the MPAA’s formalized rating system as a guide for which films to see. The Onion provides a step-by-step view into how these ratings are chosen:

‘Winnie-The-Pooh’ Turns 90

Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
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‘True Blood’ Characters Openly Talking About How They Can’t Wait For Episode To End

BON TEMPS, LA—During Sunday night’s installment of HBO’s supernatural drama True Blood, several characters on the show overtly mentioned that the episode was really dragging and that they couldn’t wait for it to finally end. “Christ, when is this shitty show going to be over?” said character Bill Compton to the show’s protagonist, Sookie Stackhouse, adding that he was getting “pretty tired” of speaking with “this stupid accent” all the time. “I’m sorry, but this episode sucks dick, you guys, and there’s still like five minutes left. Should we just split early? It feels like we’ve been sitting in this dumb swamp talking about dark realms and faeries for about 12 hours. Are we seriously on Season 6 of this thing?” Sam Merlotte, a shapeshifter character on the program, reportedly spent the remainder of the episode openly complaining that the scene where he was hiding from werewolves was boring and a “complete waste of [his] time.”

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