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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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‘True Blood’ Characters Openly Talking About How They Can’t Wait For Episode To End

BON TEMPS, LA—During Sunday night’s installment of HBO’s supernatural drama True Blood, several characters on the show overtly mentioned that the episode was really dragging and that they couldn’t wait for it to finally end. “Christ, when is this shitty show going to be over?” said character Bill Compton to the show’s protagonist, Sookie Stackhouse, adding that he was getting “pretty tired” of speaking with “this stupid accent” all the time. “I’m sorry, but this episode sucks dick, you guys, and there’s still like five minutes left. Should we just split early? It feels like we’ve been sitting in this dumb swamp talking about dark realms and faeries for about 12 hours. Are we seriously on Season 6 of this thing?” Sam Merlotte, a shapeshifter character on the program, reportedly spent the remainder of the episode openly complaining that the scene where he was hiding from werewolves was boring and a “complete waste of [his] time.”

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