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True Yankees, Regular Yankees To Now Wear Different Uniforms

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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True Yankees, Regular Yankees To Now Wear Different Uniforms

NEW YORK—The New York Yankees unveiled a new, lesser uniform at a press conference Tuesday in an effort to distinguish ordinary, run-of-the-mill Yankees from the "true Yankee legends who walk among us." "To have Javier Vazquez don the same pinstripes as Mariano Rivera or Jorge Posada is…well, it's unthinkable," Yankees general manager Brian Cashman said as Curtis Granderson modeled the sterile, black-and-white uniform with a large, boxy, non-interlocking "NY" stitched across the front of the chest. "The untrue Yankees will wear a blank, unfitted ball cap until they have their big Yankee moment. They'll wear their last names on the backs of their lesser uniforms as a badge of shame." When asked which uniform he was assigned, Alex Rodriguez cried for 10 minutes.

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