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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Turkish Actor Thinks He's Cüneyt Fucking Arkin

ISTANBUL—The cast and crew of the Turkish film Arada confirmed this week that local actor Ahmet Demir, 28, is strutting around the set like he’s goddamned film superstar Cüneyt fucking Arkin or something. “Who does this arrogant prick think he is? The two-time Golden Orange Award–winning star of Battal Gazi Destanı?” said the film’s cinematographer, Kadri Polat, shaking his head in irritation. “Look, I’ve worked with Cüneyt Arkin, and this guy’s no Cüneyt Arkin, okay? This asshole is a poor man’s Aytekin Akkaya—if that.” At press time, sources confirmed Demir “will be lucky to if he gets to make another picture at Film Sokaği Studios, that’s for goddamned sure.”

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