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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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TV Showdown Expected As ‘Sleepy Hollow’ Debuts Tonight Against HBO’s ‘Ichabod,’ TNT’s ‘Headless Horseman,’ Showtime’s ‘Cloaked Rider’

LOS ANGELES—In what critics are calling a hotly anticipated television “showdown,” Monday night will see the debuts of four separate adaptations of Washington Irving’s 1820 short story “The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow,” including Fox’s Sleepy Hollow, HBO’s Ichabod, TNT’s Headless Horseman, and Showtime’s Cloaked Rider. “Fans of gothic melodrama and classic Americana have their pick of the litter tonight, but only time will tell if they flock to the gritty realism of David Milch’s Ichabod or TNT’s sci-fi depiction of Sleepy Hollow as a futuristic, crime-ridden metropolis,” said Los Angeles Times television critic Mary McNamara of the litany of shows that all followed last year’s release of the BBC drama Mr. Crane. “On the other hand, many viewers could find themselves drawn to Showtime’s Cloaked Rider, starring Toni Collette as the first-ever female Headless Horseman. Only time will tell which show will come out on top.” McNamara noted that all four shows could lose a significant amount of viewers to NBC’s Young Van Winkle, debuting tonight in the same time slot.

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