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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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TV Viewer Relates To Totally Unbelievable Character That Could Never Exist In Reality

JONESBORO, AR—Claiming to share many of the same personality traits, 28-year-old Matthew Brooks revealed Wednesday that he strongly identifies with the protagonist from his favorite television drama, a character who could never actually exist in real life. “I see a lot of myself in how he sort of plays by his own rules and always stays true to his morals no matter what. He also makes these really cool, sarcastic remarks that other characters in the show think are funny, and I kind of do that, too,” Brooks said of the character who resembles no actual human being who currently exists in reality, has ever existed in reality, or will ever exist in reality. “And the way he can be so abrasive and arrogant while still maintaining a high-pressure job, managing a core group of devoted friends who admire him, and juggling multiple relationships with incredibly gorgeous women—I’m totally like that sometimes.” Brooks added that the only character in the show he finds it difficult to relate to is the main character’s brother, an unkempt and lazy 28-year-old who spends the majority of his time sitting around his apartment watching television.

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