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Sports

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Twins Shocked To Learn You Can Score 2 Runs In Same Play

MINNEAPOLIS—The fourth-place Minnesota Twins finally came to realize baseball teams can score more than one run in a single play when, in the fifth inning of their 4-6 loss to the Cleveland Indians last Monday, they witnessed their opponents do just that. “It doesn’t seem like it should be allowed,” said Twins manager Ron Gardenhire, who ran out of the dugout to protest when he saw two Cleveland players touch home plate. “We’ve never tried to pull anything like that. Quite frankly, it looks pretty hard. First off, you’d almost have to be in a situation where two people were on base, and then if you could manage that, a hitter would have to hit the ball so far away from the fielders that there would be little chance of getting it back to the catcher before the second runner reached home plate. Sounds crazy to me.” Though he admitted the team still did not quite understand how scoring multiple runs works, Gardenhire called it a “cheap gimmick” and said the Twins would not attempt it anytime soon.

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