EAU CLAIRE, WI—Growing increasingly exasperated by the animal’s indifference to his attempts at affection, local man Joe Dooney told reporters Friday that he didn’t know what else he could do to get his cat, Harvey, purring.
AUSTIN, TXAn argument between local hipsters Dan Walters and Brian Guterman has devolved to the point where each is angrily calling the other "hipster," those close to the pair reported Monday. "Hey, hipster! Here's 12 buckswhy don't you go get yourself a bucket of PBRs at the Gold Mine?" Walters, 22, is said to have told Guterman, 22, invoking the name of a local bar known for its "poseur" clientele. "Whatever you say, scenester," Guterman allegedly replied. "Don't you have a Death Cab For Cutie show to be at right now?" Acquaintances of Guterman and Walters trace the long-running conflict back to high school, when they reportedly threw pencils at each other and argued about who was more "emo."