adBlockCheck

Recent News

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Bo Obama Addresses Graduates Of Dayton Obedience School

DAYTON, OH—Calling on the 2017 class of canines to make the most of their training as they head out into the world, former first dog Bo Obama delivered a stirring commencement speech Friday to graduates of the Dayton Obedience School.

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Most Notable Google Ventures

Ten years ago this week, Google Street View launched, offering panoramic views of locations all over the world. As the tech giant continues to debut new projects, The Onion highlights some of Google’s most ambitious ventures to date:

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.
End Of Section
  • More News

Typo Results In 10,000-Acre Wyoming Skate Park

JACKSON, WY—A simple typographical error in a proposal to set aside a scenic Big Horn Mountain valley for public recreation has resulted in the construction of the 10,020-acre Henrietta Bedford Memorial Skate Park, Wyoming Department of Natural Resources officials announced Tuesday.

Map of Wyoming

"I am pleased to dedicate Wyoming's new skate park," said baffled Wyoming Parks Department supervisor William DuBois, reading from a prepared statement. "This skateboarding park honors the memory of Miss Henrietta Bedford, a leading Wyoming conservationist, physician, and women's-suffrage activist—a woman who knew the importance of nature to the radical and the sick."

DuBois then assisted Wyoming Gov. Dave Freudenthal in cutting a ribbon stretched across the park's 22-foot-deep, mile-long half-pipe, the largest ever installed in a state-run outdoor recreation facility.

Park officials said the typo went undetected, as it was a minor rider to the "Healthy Forests Initiative," which granted timber companies greater access to public forests.

By the time the error was identified, state officials had already spent $43 million integrating the skate park's numerous ramps, rails, pipes, and inclines into the natural topography of the Absaroka Range. After some deliberation, park officials voted to complete the skate park.

"No, it might not have otherwise occurred to me to build a grind rail running the length of Mount Logan's East Ridge," Wyoming Department of Natural Resources director James Hester said. "Nor would I have recognized the scree moraines on the south face of the Absarokas as the perfect foundation for a system of interlocking skate bowls. And I'm as surprised as anyone to see the waters of the Shoshone River running through a system of concrete half-pipes. However, the Wyoming Division of Cultural Resources, in partnership with the United States Department of Natural Resources, made a commitment, and we honor our commitments."

Jason Westphal, 15, enjoys an afternoon of fresh air and sunshine.

Additional features of the park include a system of high-curbs and railings to replicate the natural environment of street skaters, a goofy-footed stalefish estuary on the banks of the Laramie River, and a 120-acre migration habitat intended to draw the graceful yet elusive Tony Hawk.

Although construction of the skate park has been roundly criticized by environmental groups and the majority of Wyoming's citizens, the park has found supporters in the "extreme sporting" community.

"Without question, this is a big step in the right direction for the state of Wyoming," said Thrasher magazine editor Jake Phelps, who praised the move from his San Francisco office. "Although I hear the park is heavily biased towards vert with only a few street elements, I think it's a start. I hope other states will follow the precedent set by Gov. Freudenthal and consider creating ideal environments for ripping wicked fakies."

Added Phelps: "Wyoming isn't that weak-beer state, is it? Oh, no, that's Utah? Razor."

Perhaps attempting to make the best of the gaffe, Wyoming Game and Fish Department director Terry Cleveland said he sees the skate park as a positive addition to the Wyoming landscape.

"We'll be attracting a segment of the population that might never have visited our state's spectacular public wildlife areas before," Cleveland said. "The debate on public land use has always been one of preservation versus access. In this case, we chose access. I only hope people keep an open mind about our decision to allow citizens the freedom to shred."

More from this section

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close