Tyson Gay

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Tyson Gay

Track and Field, 100m — Lexington, Kentucky

Accomplishments: One of the only Americans capable of running

Motivation: Imagining there’s a delicious rabbit running along the edge of the track

Childhood: Left for dead in a shuttered sporting goods store and raised by treadmills

Olympic Moment: Finished 100-meter sprint with starting block stuck on bottom of shoe

Flaws: Never spends more than 10 seconds doing anything

Celebration: Wraps self in flag, runs victory lap after completing even the most mundane tasks

NEXT: Missy Franklin

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