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Politics

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

What You Need To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline

Construction is currently stalled on the Dakota Access Pipeline, which would connect North Dakota’s Bakken Shale development to oil tank farms in Illinois, by protests led by members of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe. The Onion provides answers to key questions about the project.

What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

With two months until the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are wondering what his term will look like and what his administration might accomplish. The Onion answers some common questions about Trump’s upcoming presidency

James Comey Quickly Reopens Clinton Email Investigation For Few More Minutes

‘Nope, Looks Like It’s All Good Here,’ Says FBI Director

WASHINGTON—In a letter addressed to Congress that was quickly followed by a second message retracting the first, FBI director James Comey is said to have briefly reopened the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails for several more minutes Friday.

Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

WASHINGTON—In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race.
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U-Say Response To Becker Decision

Was the Supreme Court's ruling against Tom Becker fair? Here's what U, the viewers, have to say:

"That Becker guy is the worst. I'd rather have my ears bleed uncontrollably than listen to him drone on about the benefits of taekwondo again."
--Tonya R., Orlando, FL

"This ruling needs to extend to more people, including that Debra who lives next door."
--William A., St. Paul, MN

"This could set a dangerous precedent. This might allow the Supreme Court to also take away the freedom of speech from breathy talkers and perpetual interrupters."
--Janice, Long Beach, CA

"This is totally unconstitutional. Everyone has a right to say what they want to say. For instance, have I told you about how I had took my high school football team to the championships playing on a broken leg?"
--Ellen S., Greenwood, WI

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