adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
End Of Section
  • More News

U-Say Response To Detroit Judge's Decision

We received thousands of viewers mails about Judge Lemont's decision that 16-year-old Hannah Stevenson will be tried as a black adult. Here's what U-Say about the ruling:

"Hannah does not deserve this. No matter how bad her crime may have been, she is still white and attractive."
--Gary L., Chula Vista, CA

"Hannah does not deserve this. At most she should have been tried as a shifty-looking Asian."
--Adam V., Sterling Heights, MI

"Hannah needs to have the full force of the wildly unbalanced justice system brought down on her."
--Deon, Sunnyvale, CA

"The sentence should have been even harsher. Hannah should have been sent to a secret tribunal and tried as a Muslim."
--Carrie P., Reno, NV

"Hannah should be happy they didn’t give her a teardrop tattoo before going on trial."
--Kenny S., Peoria, AZ

"The sentence should have been even harsher. Hannah should have been tried in Arizona as a Mexican."
--Pamela K., Spencer, WI

"This ruling not fair. She was clearly possessed by Satan. That is the only way my brain can reconcile my preconceived notions about her race, age, and class with her act of horrific violence."
--Art, Grand Oaks, WA

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close