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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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U-Say Responses To The Military Chaperone Program

We received thousands of emails about the army’s new chaperone program for women in combat. Here's what U-Say about this issue:

"I can't imagine sending these women into combat without a man there to make sure to catch them when they faint at all those scary loud explosion noises."
--Tony C., Gary, IN

"This program is so expensive, and for what? No one is even taking sexy pictures of these women and their guns. What's the point?"
--Tyler S., Dallas, TX

"Is anyone concerned that the presence of men is going to distract the women and make them competitive and act slutty? You know how girls get around a man."
--Rhonda S., Little River, KS

"I think the army should ask the chaperone to stand behind the female soldiers, wrapping their arms around them, to help the ladies hold their weapons."
--Lisa, Orange, CA

"I'm not sure how I feel about the program, but if these women are anything like my wife after I've cleaned the gutters, these poor chaperones aren't going to hear a single thank you."
--Evan P., Oklahoma City, OK

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