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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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U-Say Responses To The Military Chaperone Program

We received thousands of emails about the army’s new chaperone program for women in combat. Here's what U-Say about this issue:

"I can't imagine sending these women into combat without a man there to make sure to catch them when they faint at all those scary loud explosion noises."
--Tony C., Gary, IN

"This program is so expensive, and for what? No one is even taking sexy pictures of these women and their guns. What's the point?"
--Tyler S., Dallas, TX

"Is anyone concerned that the presence of men is going to distract the women and make them competitive and act slutty? You know how girls get around a man."
--Rhonda S., Little River, KS

"I think the army should ask the chaperone to stand behind the female soldiers, wrapping their arms around them, to help the ladies hold their weapons."
--Lisa, Orange, CA

"I'm not sure how I feel about the program, but if these women are anything like my wife after I've cleaned the gutters, these poor chaperones aren't going to hear a single thank you."
--Evan P., Oklahoma City, OK

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