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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.

Manager Can’t Remember Why He Came Out To Mound

HOUSTON—Visibly irritated with himself as he paced around the pitcher’s plate after calling for time during the fourth inning of their game against the Washington Nationals, Houston Astros manager A.J. Hinch could not remember why he came out to the mound in the first place, sources confirmed Thursday.
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UFC Fan Knows What All Those Guys' Names Are

KINGSPORT, TN—Sources confirmed Monday that area resident Kyle Nickerson apparently knows the actual names of all those guys in the UFC and that, to him, they don't all sort of run together. "I know maybe four of those guys: Brock Lesnar, Kent Shamrock, Tito Ortiz, and the guy with the mohawk—but Kyle knows all of them, even the ones from that reality show," Nickerson's friend Eric Heijl told reporters, adding that Nickerson is also able to name the moves those guys use. "Sometimes two UFC guys will flash on the screen and Kyle will not only know their names, but know who they've fought in the past. Should I know who these people are? Is UFC such a big deal now that I should be able to identify a UFC fighter when I see one?" When reached for comment, Nickerson was reportedly watching a UFC match in which he not only knew the names of both competitors, but also what their records were. 

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