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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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UFC Fan Only Watches For Joe Rogan's Expert Analysis

CHICAGO—Scott Milloy, a longtime Ultimate Fighting Championship fan, would have stopped watching televised matches in the full-contact fighting series long ago if not for the well-informed, insightful color commentary of UFC host Joe Rogan. "A lot of these new guys may be better fighters than the UFC had in the old 'tough fat guy' era, but without Joe Rogan to give me the insider information that only a former Massachusetts Tae Kwon Do champ can give, I probably wouldn't even watch anymore," Milloy told friends before the Gracie-Hughes UFC matchup Saturday. "And he provides that insight in the way only a former News Radio star can. Truly an athlete and a scholar." Milloy later added that, as far as he could tell, the only blot on Rogan's stellar career was his two-season stint as a host of the Man Show, a position "beneath the dignity of an expert of the Octagon."

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