UMass Dartmouth Beginning To Regret Offering Course In Applied Domestic Terrorism

Top Headlines

Recent News

Man Races Against Time To Take Out Trash Bag With Widening Puncture

RIO RANCHO, NM—His pace steadily quickening as he rounded the corner out of his kitchen and made a beeline for the front door, local man Henry Parnasse reportedly found himself locked in a race against time Wednesday morning to take out a trash bag with a widening hole in its side.

Tips For Traveling With Young Children

Family vacations can be a time for bonding and building lasting memories, but when young children are involved, trips can also be stressful to plan and execute. Here are The Onion’s tips for traveling with kids
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Satisfaction

House and Home

  • Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

    YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

UMass Dartmouth Beginning To Regret Offering Course In Applied Domestic Terrorism

DARTMOUTH, MA—After federal authorities arrested two students from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth on Tuesday in connection with the Boston Marathon bombings, officials at the university told reporters they are starting to seriously regret offering a semester-long course in Applied Domestic Terrorism. “ADT 201 has long been one of the most popular courses in our registry, and we have always tried to offer a progressive and wide-ranging list of classes to our undergraduate students, but we recognize, at this juncture, that this particular plan of study may not have been well-considered,” university spokesman Greg Stelter said of the popular tutorial-style course, which reportedly uses a “problem-solving approach” to equip students with the knowledge of homegrown terrorism techniques and the skills for carrying out large-scale domestic attacks on innocent civilians in major metropolitan areas. “It’s a shame, because this is one of the only programs out there that offers students a well-rounded survey in domestic attack planning and execution, from bomb-making to fertilizer explosions to online threats and computer viruses. Plus, it’s a required course for Domestic Terrorism majors.” At press time, Stelter had announced that until the board of trustees had reached a decision on the course, currently enrolled students should continue attending classes and taking practical exams.