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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Umenyiora Comes Out Of Nowhere To Sack McNabb In Parking Lot

PHILADELPHIA—Osi Umenyiora, whose six sacks against the Eagles on Sunday tied him for second on the NFL's single-game  record list, added to that total when he burst out from around the end of Donovan McNabb's Ford Excursion, seized the quarterback by the shoulders, and drove him hard to the pavement as McNabb left practice Tuesday. "Osi just had my number today," said McNabb, who has been less mobile when entering and exiting his car since undergoing  knee surgery in the offseason. "It was a very athletic play, and what's more, it was smart—we never thought to look for him coming across the parking lot like that." Second-year tackle Winston Justice confirmed that Philadelphia's five starting offensive linemen, all of whom who were all hitching a post-practice ride home with McNabb, did not get so much as a finger on Umenyiora.

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