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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.

A Timeline Of Valentine’s Day History

Every February, people across the world engage in romantic traditions with their loved ones in celebration of Valentine’s Day. The Onion provides a timeline of the holiday’s inception and evolution:
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U.N. Aid Workers Distributing Food To Malnourished KFC Customers

FOREST LAKE, MN—Responding to an ongoing humanitarian crisis, U.N. aid workers reportedly descended on a local KFC Wednesday to deliver much-needed food to the restaurant’s critically malnourished customers. “In all my years in the field, I’ve never come across a group of people who have gone so long without a proper meal,” said U.N. humanitarian affairs director Gloria Dominguez, confirming that aid workers had distributed whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and other vital nutrients to patrons of the KFC location. “We’re doing everything we can, but conditions on the ground here are desperate. In addition to their pervasive malnutrition, these people clearly don’t have access to suitable sanitary facilities, and the stench is almost unbearable. It really breaks your heart.” Dominguez noted that other U.N. aid operations in the area include a teen-pregnancy prevention program at a local Dairy Queen and a dysentery-outbreak clinic at a nearby White Castle.

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Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

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