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Unambitious Terrorists Overturn Trash Can

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A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture

‘People Are Inherently Good,’ World Halfheartedly Mutters

NICE, FRANCE—Following yesterday’s terrorist attack in Nice, France that left over 80 people dead and scores more injured, sources reported that a dazed and utterly dejected global populace halfheartedly muttered the phrase “People are inherently good” to themselves Friday.

Louvre Curators Hurry To Display Ugly Van Gogh Donor Gave Them Before Surprise Visit

PARIS—After retrieving the eyesore from amid a clutter of unused display cases and movable stanchions in the back of the facility’s basement where it had been stowed ever since the museum received it, curators at the Louvre hurried to display an ugly Vincent van Gogh painting before the artwork’s donor made a surprise visit to the museum Friday.

ISIS Starting To Worry New Recruit Huge Psycho

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Unambitious Terrorists Overturn Trash Can

JERUSALEM—The Bedouin Free Army, described by State Department officials as an unambitious offshoot of the PLO, is claiming responsibility for Sunday's overturning of a garbage can near the Western Wall. According to reports, the group intended to bring attention to what they called a "serious lack of pens" in Bedouin Army encampments near the Gaza Strip. Israeli officials had ignored the group's most serious act prior to Sunday, the 1995 slamming down of a phone receiver "really hard," according to State Department files. No one was hurt in the trash can incident, though several pieces of crumpled paper, three falafel balls and a shoe were badly scattered.

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