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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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University Of Illinois Researchers Find Link Between Attending University Of Illinois, Receiving Solid Education At Great Price

URBANA, IL—According to a new study conducted by researchers at the University of Illinois, there is a strong correlation between enrolling at the local four-year college and receiving a well-rounded, but moderately priced education. "Our research indicates that the likelihood of getting a solid bang for your academic buck increases dramatically when attending the U of I, located in Urbana-Champaign, just minutes away from beautiful downtown," said chief author Dr. Joseph Mahler, who works extensively in his field and brings years of experience to the classroom. "In all cases, test subjects reported that the price of matriculating at the University of Illinois was nearly as unbeatable as the vaunted Fighting Illini Men's Basketball Squad. Go Illini!" Researchers are currently conducting a new study linking the contribution of alumni funds to the university with a sense of general happiness and well-being.

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