adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
End Of Section
  • More News

University Of Illinois Researchers Find Link Between Attending University Of Illinois, Receiving Solid Education At Great Price

URBANA, IL—According to a new study conducted by researchers at the University of Illinois, there is a strong correlation between enrolling at the local four-year college and receiving a well-rounded, but moderately priced education. "Our research indicates that the likelihood of getting a solid bang for your academic buck increases dramatically when attending the U of I, located in Urbana-Champaign, just minutes away from beautiful downtown," said chief author Dr. Joseph Mahler, who works extensively in his field and brings years of experience to the classroom. "In all cases, test subjects reported that the price of matriculating at the University of Illinois was nearly as unbeatable as the vaunted Fighting Illini Men's Basketball Squad. Go Illini!" Researchers are currently conducting a new study linking the contribution of alumni funds to the university with a sense of general happiness and well-being.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close