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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Unnerving Adidas Commercial Just Features Derrick Rose Sitting

CHICAGO—Striking a different tone from previous ads for the sportswear company, a disturbing new Adidas commercial features Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose just sitting still in a dimmed arena, sources confirmed Friday. The unsettling 30-second spot reportedly begins with a wide shot of a basketball arena before slowly zooming in on Rose, totally motionless, sitting courtside and staring at the camera with a blank expression on his face. Viewers noted that at one point the 25-year-old star seems to grimace slightly, and confirmed that the commercial ends with an extreme close-up on Rose, who closes his eyes just before a cut to a black screen displaying a white Adidas logo and the text “#drose2015.”

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