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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.

A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Unpopped Kernels Costing U.S. Billions

SIOUX CITY, IA—The singed, partially opened, and otherwise unpopped kernels at the bottom of U.S. snack bowls are costing Americans an average of $18 billion every year, FDA sources reported Tuesday. "The typical pound of popping corn results in an average of 35 'dead' kernels," FDA deputy commissioner Lester M. Crawford said before Congress. "Considering the costs of growing, processing, and packaging these kernels, and the heat energy expended in fruitless endeavors to pop them, it's an epic level of waste." Crawford asked Congress to double funding for the FDA's $200 million old-maid-elimination research project.

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