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Unpopular Student Ridiculed Mercilessly In Teacher's Lounge

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Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.

Family, Friends Concerned After Peyton Manning Wanders Away From Pocket

SANTA CLARA, CA—Admitting to being “worried sick” after realizing he had suddenly disappeared in the middle of a play, family and friends of Peyton Manning grew incredibly concerned Sunday after the veteran Denver Broncos quarterback wandered away from the pocket during the first quarter of Super Bowl 50, sources confirmed.
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Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

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Unpopular Student Ridiculed Mercilessly In Teacher's Lounge

KNOXVILLE, TN–Doug Durbin, an overweight, unpopular seventh-grader at Lakeview Middle School, was mercilessly mocked Tuesday by faculty members in the teachers' lounge. "None of the kids want to sit near Doug Durbin in class because he sweats so bad and has pit stains on all his shirts," math teacher Ron Grady told a group of his colleagues. "Isn't that so disgusting?" Added science teacher Andrew Klass: "I feel so bad for Coach [Bernie] Nichols. He has to actually watch Doug run around in shorts twice a week in gym class. Bernie told me that last week, Doug cried when he got hit in the stomach during dodgeball. What a loser."

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