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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Unregistered Horses Meet Under Cover Of Darkness For Kentucky Street Derby

LOUISVILLE, KY—Having trotted to an underpass on the outskirts of the city where they were surrounded by numerous entourages and bikini-clad women, over a dozen unregistered horses reportedly met under the cover of darkness Saturday for an illegal Kentucky Street Derby. “We usually meet here to race because it’s out of the way and there’s 12 furlongs of open road, plus nobody around here gives a shit if the horses make a lot of noise,” a jockey who only went by the name “Two-Crop” told reporters, as various riders made last-minute adjustments to their elaborately decorated, neon-painted saddles and blue LED underbody lights, with several thoroughbreds loudly neighing in anticipation of the race. “There’s no fuckin’ around out here. It’s ten thousand cash to enter the race, winner take all. And if you lose, you might have to hand over your filly to the jockey who beat you.” Just as the contestants were lining up behind the hand-drawn chalk outline of a starting gate, a number of mounted police officers descended on the scene, causing the jockeys to quickly jump on their steeds and gallop away in all different directions.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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