adBlockCheck

UPDATE: ‘The Onion’ Apologizes For Killing Innocent Boston Man Tom Mahoney

Top Headlines

Recent News

Saudi Authorities Decry Wasteful 3-Hour Death-Row Appeals Process

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA—Criticizing the amount of time and money wasted between a condemned individual’s sentencing and eventual execution, Saudi government officials expressed frustration Monday over the country’s costly three-hour appeals process for convicts facing the death penalty.

Entire Broncos Organization Announces Retirement After Super Bowl Win

‘There’s Nothing Better Than Going Out On Top,’ Says Every Denver Player, Coach, Executive, Trainer, Office Administrator, Janitor

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following the team’s 24-10 victory over the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl 50, every single member of the Denver Broncos organization officially announced their retirement Sunday.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Streaming

UPDATE: ‘The Onion’ Apologizes For Killing Innocent Boston Man Tom Mahoney

We Spoke Too Soon

BOSTON—Saying that we spoke too soon and probably should have looked at all the facts and information first before pulling the trigger, The Onion has issued an apology to the family of Boston resident Tom Mahoney, who was shot and killed by the news organization at 2:10 p.m. today. “We have learned that, contrary to our prior reports, Mr. Mahoney was in fact just a school teacher and not the Boston Marathon bomber,” read an official statement from The Onion. “Next time, instead of creating a media firestorm, misleading the public with uncorroborated information, and murdering an innocent man, we will make sure to confirm the identity of the bomber with the proper officials before taking a shot.” The Onion once again apologizes.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close