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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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UPN Lauded By Center For Quantity Programming

LOS ANGELES—The UPN television network was honored Monday by the Center For Quantity Programming for its "tremendous contribution to the number of TV programs on the air."

UPN President Dean Valentine

Said Center For Quantity Programming president Liz Elson: "By offering such shows as In The House, Malcolm & Eddie, Good News, Sparks, Moesha, Goode Behavior, and The Sentinel, UPN has truly contributed a great deal of television to our nation's airwaves."

Elson presented UPN president and CEO Dean Valentine with a plaque commending him for his "unwavering commitment to improving the quantity of network television in the U.S."

"Without UPN," Elson said, "the American people would not have 161 prime-time TV programs from which to choose each week, but merely 148."

UPN joins last year's Center For Quantity Programming honoree WB, which was lauded for such "outstandingly voluminous fare" as Nick Freno, The Wayans Bros., Sister, Sister, The Jamie Foxx Show, Unhappily Ever After, The Steve Harvey Show, Kirk, The Parent 'Hood, Brotherly Love, 7th Heaven, and Savannah.

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