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The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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U.S. Cryptographers: 'FrpX-K5jE-Oc4n-e5Dn'

WASHINGTON, DC—In a carefully phrased, 128-bit encoded announcement that has challenged U.S. security agency procedures, top officials of the National Cryptography and Information Security Council warned that "FrpX-K5jE-Oc4n-e5Dn" if "Ha4d-87gH-uiH3-gB5r-g8Bh" late Monday.

"It may be true, as these codemakers have stated here, that our nation faces 'm7Hk-sJkd-jJk73-4osd-m6Kh,'" Department of Homeland Security head Michael Chertoff told reporters in his plaintext response Tuesday. "But in our defense, I would hardly call our situation 'K5jE-Oc4n.'"

The NCISC declined further comment, saying only that its remarks were meant as constructive criticism, and the CIA, NSA, and FBI may have misinterpreted the message.

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