adBlockCheck

Recent News

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
End Of Section
  • More News

U.S. Dignity Reserves Nearly Depleted

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a report released Tuesday by the U.S. Department of Pride and Self-Worth, the nation's dignity reserves stand at an all-time low, and emergency dignity reservoirs may have to be tapped as soon as next month. "America is in the midst of a dignity crisis the likes of which it has never seen," said DPSW Secretary Bruce Collins, eating a bag of Taco Bell Steak Gorditas and wearing a "Show Me The Money!" T-shirt. "Over the past decade, the number of Americans with no shame whatsoever has gone through the roof."

More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close
settings