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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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U.S. Dollar Drops Against Counterfeit U.S. Dollar

NEW YORK—At the close of trading Monday, the U.S. dollar dipped to a record low of $.60 against the counterfeit U.S. dollar, which also outpaced the dollar against the euro and the yen.

"We don't even accept regular U.S. dollars anymore," said Union, NJ 7-Eleven manager Rick Grove, echoing the sentiments of merchants nationwide. "We've gotten stung a few times taking in the real ones. I always tell my cashiers, if it feels fake to the touch, and you can't see both sides when you hold it up to the light, it's fine."

Concerned about further devalutation of standard U.S. currency, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke has suggested that Congress outlaw counterfeit bills entirely.

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