adBlockCheck

Recent News

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
End Of Section
  • More News

U.S. Dollar Drops Against Counterfeit U.S. Dollar

NEW YORK—At the close of trading Monday, the U.S. dollar dipped to a record low of $.60 against the counterfeit U.S. dollar, which also outpaced the dollar against the euro and the yen.

"We don't even accept regular U.S. dollars anymore," said Union, NJ 7-Eleven manager Rick Grove, echoing the sentiments of merchants nationwide. "We've gotten stung a few times taking in the real ones. I always tell my cashiers, if it feels fake to the touch, and you can't see both sides when you hold it up to the light, it's fine."

Concerned about further devalutation of standard U.S. currency, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke has suggested that Congress outlaw counterfeit bills entirely.

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close