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Who's Fucking: Zack and Evan

Coworkers Zack and Evan talk about moving past first impressions, stepping out of your comfort zone, and understanding what it really means to fuck someone.

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Black Man Does 8 Years

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U.S. Economy Continues Campaigning For Barack Obama

WASHINGTON—Nearly a month after Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of the United States, the nation's economy is still going strong in its efforts to secure him the highest office in the land. Through its trifecta of moribund housing prices, a wildly fluctuating stock market, and an unprecedented credit crisis, the U.S. economy helped propel Obama past rival John McCain in polls leading up to the Nov. 4 election—a helpful boost the nation's financial system has since supplemented with the imminent collapse of the Big Three auto manufacturers and looming fears of a long-term depression. "Thanks to the disastrous efforts of our economy, Obama would be virtually unbeatable were he to run again in December or January," CNN political analyst Pat Harris said. "According to the most recent data, Obama's edge continues to grow among those who just lost their jobs and have no idea how they're going to feed their children, as well as among citizens who are freezing to death on the streets at this very moment." The outspoken U.S. economy, which has already been campaigning for months in Iceland and South America, reportedly plans to spend the next 10 to 15 years spreading its message to every single country on the globe.

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