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A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:

Man Either Sick Or Just At End Of Workday

CINCINNATI—Overwhelmed by a wave of fatigue, local man Will Markowski told reporters Tuesday that he was uncertain whether he was getting sick or if it was just the end of a normal workday.
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U.S. Government Sets Aside 600,000 Acres Of Pristine Land For Future Generations To Pollute

WASHINGTON—In what is being hailed as a landmark preservation effort, federal officials announced plans Monday to set aside a 600,000-acre tract of pristine wilderness so that future generations of Americans can pollute it. “We have a responsibility to ensure that this country continues to have beautiful woodlands, fresh streams, and breathtaking vistas where one day our children and grandchildren can toss their refuse and dump their industrial waste,” said Secretary of the Interior Sally Jewell, who noted that despoiling the environment is the birthright of every American citizen. “They too should know what it feels like to clear-cut an idyllic forest, poison a crystal-clear lake with chemical runoff, and permanently devastate a fragile ecosystem—not to mention what it feels like to level a majestic mountaintop with dynamite to access the coal beneath. If we don’t act soon, the experiences so many of us take for granted will become little more than a memory.” Jewell expressed her disappointment, however, that tomorrow’s children would never know the joy of driving the Tacoma pocket gopher and ivory-billed woodpecker to extinction.

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