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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
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U.S. Hunger For Fish Byproducts Not As Strong As First Imagined

WASHINGTON—Despite every indication that such a move would bring with it glorious success, and that only triumph could come from branching out into more Western markets, Yu Wan Mei sources indicated Friday that the U.S. desire for processed fish products may not be as robust as initially anticipated. Company reports, filled with woeful numbers and figures and charts, now suggest that the American palette is far too unrefined and pedestrian to appreciate such delicacies as ground gas bladders, lymphoid tissue, and fresh gill paste. Indeed, had these catastrophic reports been issued earlier, Yu Wan Mei might not have invested nearly $96 million into packaging and shipping its fish consumables overseas, nor would it have purchased an otherwise worthless and vile newspaper, within which to advertise its nourishing foodstuffs. Glaringly, it is now apparent to all that Fish Time may in fact not be Success Time.

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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

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