U.S. Invades Non-Oil-Rich Nation To Dispel Criticism

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Vol 46 Issue 26

Psychopaths Behave Like Stroke Victims

A University of Wisconsin study found that when prisoners exhibiting psychopathic tendencies played decision-making games, they used the same strategies as people who had suffered strokes or brain tumors.

Advertising On License Plates?

The State of California is currently considering a plan to issue digital license plates that would display advertising when a car is stopped for more than four seconds.
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Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

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U.S. Invades Non-Oil-Rich Nation To Dispel Criticism

LUXEMBOURG VILLE, LUXEMBOURG—In an effort to quiet criticism of U.S. military policy, 50,000 U.S. troops invaded and soundly defeated the non-oil-rich Grand Duchy of Luxembourg Monday. "Once again, the U.S. claims victory over a rogue nation," said President Bush after the 45-minute war. "The people of Luxembourg, although prosperous and living in peace, have suffered under the tyranny of a monarchy for centuries. And allow me to point out that Luxembourg has not one drop of crude oil." Troops will return home Friday, following the public hanging of Grand Duke Henri de Luxembourg.

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