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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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U.S. Olympic Hockey Team Continues 26-Year Streak Of Non-Miraculous Play

TURIN, ITALY—The U.S. men's hockey team, the lowest-ranked of all national squads going into Wednesday's quarterfinals with a 1-3-1 record, is continuing a tradition of non-miraculous play that began immediately after the medal ceremony of the 1980 Olympic Games in Lake Placid, NY. "Assembling our nation's best hockey talent on a single team might seem like a formula for miraculous on-ice achievement, but this turns out not to be the case," U.S. head coach Peter Laviolette said following his team's 5-4 defeat at the hands of the Russian squad Tuesday. "But there's lots of problems. It's hard for some of the NHL players to work together, the larger ice surface leads to more fatigue than players expect, and frankly, even if we beat everyone, it's hardly a 'miracle' if our pros beat their pros anyway." Many fans have come to the team's defense despite the their poor Olympic showing, saying that such phenomena as Chris Chelios playing at his advanced age, the presence of a Hispanic hockey player, and the fact that NHL players have agreed to play for free are all minor miracles.
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