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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Helpful Man Saves Woman Effort Of Telling Idea To Boss Herself

ATLANTA—In an unprompted act of generosity from one coworker to another, Spryte Logistics employee Ben Graham reportedly took the initiative to share one of Emily Fehrman’s ideas with their boss on Friday, saving her the time and effort of doing it herself.
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U.S. To Offer Tax Incentives To Companies That Do Not Openly Make World Worse At Every Turn

WASHINGTON—A growth-stimulus package introduced in Congress Thursday aims to provide tax incentives to companies that do not openly and unapologetically make the world a worse place than it already is. "We want to encourage American businesses not to commit blatantly destructive or fraudulent acts in plain sight where everyone can find out about them and get upset," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said. "We all understand that companies need to stay competitive: Maybe you had to cut a few corners on safety and accidentally released thousands of gallons of toxins into the water supply, or maybe you skillfully exploited regulatory loopholes to dupe your customers out of every dollar possible. That's okay. As long as you make a reasonable effort to cover it up, you're still eligible for this tax credit." According to congressional sources, companies that openly make the world worse can continue to apply for the same tax breaks they've always gotten.

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Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

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