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Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.

How To Combat Harassment Online

Online harassment is an increasingly contentious issue, with social media sites like Twitter and Reddit pressured to crack down on users’ abusive behavior. Here are The Onion’s tips for combating harassment online:

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.
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Usain Bolt

Track and Field, 100m and 200m —Jamaica

Strength: Incredibly long legs allow him to finish the 100-meter dash in just four strides

World Records Held: All the good ones

Weakness: Amazingly fast up to 400 meters, but any farther than that he gets nauseous and starts vomiting

Shoes: Got his one pair all covered in sand, but is planning to get new ones at the Olympics

Favorite Showboat Maneuver: Sawing own legs off during final 10 meters

NEXT: Oscar Pistorius

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