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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Vacation-Bound Rush Limbaugh To Do Nothing But Golf And Respect Minorities For 2 Weeks

PALM BEACH, FL—Popular radio personality Rush Limbaugh said on his show Tuesday that he is going to Honolulu for a 10-day vacation during which he plans to break away from his daily routine and "just play a lot of golf, eat, sleep, and treat minorities with respect and dignity." "Ten solid days of hitting the links, catching up on some reading, and not making obscene or hurtful racial comments—can't wait," said Limbaugh, adding that once he touches down on the Hawaiian island he's going to play 36 holes at the Waialae Country Club and treat Hawaii's diverse population of indigenous islanders, Filipinos, Chinese, and Japanese with the same consideration he would give white people. "Don't get me wrong—I love my job and I enjoy working my ill-informed fans into a frenzy by tapping into their deep-seeded, ignorant fears of people who are different from them. But when I'm on vacation, the phone is off, I'm not checking e-mail, and I don't even want to think about making iffy slurs or insensitive impersonations until I have to punch back in." Limbaugh also promised that he wouldn't ruin the vacation for himself by thinking about how strange it is that he's so popular.

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