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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Vacationer Checks Weather Report For Hometown

SAN FRANCISCO—Vacationing with her husband Tuesday, Judy Keck, 34, scanned The San Francisco Examiner over breakfast, looking for news about the weather in her hometown of Norfolk, VA, some 2,700 miles away. "Looks like it's starting to get nippy there," Keck said of the coastal Virginia city she will not return to for 10 days. "Bummer about the drizzling." Upon returning to her hotel room, Keck turned on The Weather Channel to check Norfolk's extended five-day forecast.

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