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Vacationing Man Misses Own Remote Control

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Vacationing Man Misses Own Remote Control

NEW YORK—Dale Herring, on vacation from Wichita, KS, admitted Monday that he missed his TV remote control. "At first, I was taken with the hotel's remote, and the sheer number of buttons—not to mention the breathtaking view of the on-screen menu guide," Herring said. "But the truth is, I can't wait to get back to the simplicity and familiarity of my own clicker." Herring added that he'll definitely go see the Empire State Building the next time he visits New York.

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