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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Valentine's Day Coming A Little Early In Relationship

MONROE, MI— Area resident Todd Munde, who has been dating Lisa Watros for the past three weeks, lamented Monday that Valentine's Day is coming a little early in the couple's relationship. "It's kind of weird to be doing the whole romantic flowers-and-candy Valentine's Day thing with somebody you just started seeing," said Munde, 30. "Ideally, we would have started dating last October. That way, Valentine's Day would have fallen somewhere around the four-month mark. Oh, well."

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