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New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Vatican County Fair Sets Record For World's Largest Communion Wafer

VATICAN COUNTY—Shattering the previous Eucharistic weight record set by Cincinnati’s Sisters of Mercy convent, the Catholic Church’s College of Cardinals confirmed Friday it has baked an 800-pound communion wafer, the heaviest ever recorded, for this weekend’s Vatican County Fair. “That there’s the biggest body of Christ under the sun, friend,” said Cardinal Angelo Sodano, who personally carved the image of the cross onto the 16-foot-wide wafer. “A full foot thick, batter-dipped, and completely unleavened.” After the colossal host is displayed alongside the fair’s butter sculpture of the Crucifixion and its 450-pound blue-ribbon bishop, each of the 40,000 paying attendees will reportedly receive a piece of the wafer and 32 ounces of wine in a commemorative plastic cup.

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