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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Vegas Gives Patriots 1,000-Point Spread Over Chargers

LAS VEGAS—Major Las Vegas sports books took no time in accepting wagers on the AFC championship game, setting the line at New England +1,000 as soon as the Chargers' upset of the Colts had concluded. "Considering both [quarterback Phil] Rivers and [running back LaDainian] Tomlinson may be out for the game, we're confident that New England can put at least a grand's worth of points on the Bolts," Bellagio casino oddsmaker Sam "Fat Roll" Matusiak said Monday. "Of course, if one or both of them are healthy, that line could change five or six points, easy. Right now, though, smart money is to either fade our action on that spread for the Pats or just sit on your money." Matusiak's book is also accepting "proposition bets" on certain game situations, such as the number of touchdowns the Patriots will score during the first minute.

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