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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Vegetarian Can't Bring Self To Eat IHOP's Funny Face Pancakes

BREMERTON, WA—During breakfast at the International House of Pancakes Monday, vegetarian Erica Legrand said she could not eat her Funny Face pancakes. "Not with those big maraschino eyes staring up at me," Legrand said. Upon further questioning, Legrand explained that she did not want break her "never eat anything with a face" rule.

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